He is not talking to me, in no kind of way. That’s so depressing. I don’t want him to be gently or in a freaky kind of way in love. I just want him to talk to me. But he ignores me totally and I hate that. It drives me mad because it makes me realize that I lost him. In every kind of way. I don’t know if that is good or not. I may know that it’s better for him. Maybe he just did that because he don’t want to get hurt. That can be. Maybe with every word I spoke I’m going to hurt him. But for me it’s like I’m losing a very important person and I know that I can’t fix that again. It can be that I already lost him. I’m not hundred percent sure of that but it’s like a shadow in my heart wispering to me, that it’s the truht. I want to fight but all fight is not worth if somebody’s going to die because of that. So I locked my feelings of losing some imprortant person away. Might be better.