between hope and despair

Between hope and despair
is where I am.
I’m waiting
waiting for you.
Ever since I left you
I was waiting for you to come
and hold me.
Take me
with you.
But you never came.
Because I never saw
that you never left me
really
I was blind
Now I’m waiting.
Again
for a word
just to hear your beautiful voice
and all I see is your word
every word.
I’m carving for more
but I know there is no more.
There is only
what you give me.
It has to be enough
for I am losing you again
if I want more
I’m longing for your touch
for your lips
your incredible kiss
but there is your life
and mine
which are in the way.
Is there hope
for being with you
once again?
Or will I die
waiting for something that cannot be achieved?
I will wait
because losing you again
may never be an option again.
I don’t want to live without you anymore.
I see so much more
in your eyes
in your life.
I see your beauty
and all the goodness
in your soul
for all that I never saw before.
And I am so afraid
that I can never show you again
how much you mean to me
and how dare I belong to you.
I’m so afraid
for all I have is your word
and I have to believe
until I see you again
whenever that will be
I need patience
something I don’t have
I drag you to far
not to fall apart
and see that I rip you into pieces
or just me?
I will wait
and wait
for you
for the only one
I ever loved
with all my heart
then
and now.
Somehow
for I don’t know why.
I just know.
That I want to feel you
again.
I want to hold you
again.
I want to kiss you
again.
Until I know
that you are the only one.
Forever.

Please don’t abuse me.

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